Initial Responses to WFTB

As I began to read the novel, Waiting for the Barbarians, I was immediately struck by the lack of details that the author decided to provide. The setting is unclear, distinct names are not given, and all details remain ambiguous. A reason for this ambiguity might be a way for the novel to become relatable to different times, people, and places. Despite unclear details, the torture scenes are incredibly graphic and gruesome. Feelings of disgust, sympathy, and sadness are felt while reading the elaborately detailed tortured scenes. J.M. Coetzee might have written these scenes with such detail to enable the reader to understand the true pain that these “barbarians” felt and also to experience the compassion the Magistrate felt for these humans being treated in such a horrifying manner. The novel is also written in first person, which lets us as readers explore the complicated and conflicting mind of the Magistrate. The Magistrate is a conflicted and confused character that is facing situation that he does not know how to approach. As readers, we are able to actually understand this central character better than he can often understand himself.

As for other characters of the novel, there is an obvious tension and conflict of interest between Colonel Joll and the Magistrate. The Colonel seemingly has no problem torturing others and seems to be a man with little empathy. In comparison, the Magistrate is a very compassionate character although he often wishes he were not. He not only wishes he were not compassionate, but he is actually ashamed of this aspect of himself that he cannot eliminate. When he helped the young boy prisoner, the Magistrate explained, “I feel my heart grow heavy. I never wished to be drawn to this.” (7) This succumbing to compassion will be one of the major themes and ideas throughout the novel. I also believe that this internal conflict of the Magistrate will serve as a prominent theme as well. The Magistrate attempts to be passive and simply do his job; yet he cannot deny his urges to help others and do what he feels is morally right.

Conrad in the Congo

The selected letters in route to the Congo are Conrad’s letters to his cousins, uncle, and aunt expressing his love and devotion to them, as well as describing his travels.

-Reminds his uncle that he will never forget the love and kindness he received from him while in Cracow.

-Conrad refers to himself as an affectionate relation and servant to both his uncle and aunt.

-Signs his letters as Konrad Korzeniowski or simply Conrad (real name is Józef Teodor Konrad Nalecz Korzeniowski)

-Has an immense amount of gratitude for the goodness showed to him by others.

-Intense emotions of gratitude, love, and devotion.

-Appears excited and anxious for his trip.

-Recognizes “the wickedness of the world” yet he is able to be optimistic and positive within it.

-His world is busy and chaotic before his trip with goodbyes and packing.

-Feels uneasy that 60% of the Company’s employees return to Europe before their 6 months’ service is completed.

-“I have no longer been interested in the goal to which my road leads.”

-Change of emotions towards his journey.

-Finds his tenderness as his uncle as a weakness.

-Wishes for letters from family and friends to make his existence more bearable. Needs communication and connections to prevent his loneliness.

Just a flower?

Faulkner always communicates more than what he actually writes. After in-depth analysis of this piece of literature, it is apparent that every word, every phrase, every sentence is meticulously written in order to give the story a deeper meaning. To truly understand Faulkner is to understand the fact that the written text is only half of the story. This observation is evidenced by the flower within the final lines of the book. While riding in the carriage with Luster, Benji (like Kevin I prefer the name Benji) holds a flower in his hand. He is described as untroubled, seemingly content. But when Luster decides to take a different route; chaos erupts. Benji starts to cry, Jason hits both Luster and Benji, and Jason reprimands Luster for his silly error. After Luster gets back on the familiar track, Benji is calm again yet his flower is broken, lying limp in his hand. The flower represents Benji, a broken individual; one that is incapable is truly enjoying the world around him. Despite the flower being broken, he returns to the state he had previously been in and completely unaware of his self. It has been previously stated that Benji is much smarter than others assume, but can Benji even comprehend his personal situation? If not, is it better that he doesn’t?

There are many different interpretations to what the broken flower represents. What do you think the flower symbolizes? It is merely just a flower?

More than Words

Are words more than merely words? Words communicate thoughts, concepts, emotions, and within Faulkner’s, The Sound and the Fury, the use and repetition of words communicate much larger ideas outside of what the text itself merely communicates. The specific and meticulously thought-out word choice, as well as the number of times words are used within the novel are incredibly important. As already known, every comma, word, and type of syntax used has a vital purpose. This depth of detail within Faulkern’s writing is one of the many reasons as to why he is such a great writer. Why within the Benji section the word “fire” and “mirror” and used constantly? Why does the word “shadow” omnipresent in the Quentin section? Faulkner always has a purpose behind it his words. Robert Martin in his work, The Words of “The Sound and the Fury,” explains that the reader must tirelessly attempt to find more within the text. It is the reader’s obligation and responsibility to find the meaning between the lines and behind the words.

In the Benji section, the words fire and mirror are used multiple times to portray the inner thoughts and personal experiences of Benji. The fire obviously calms Benji. Luster and various members of the Compton clan used fire to hush and silence him. Fire is more than just fire to the simple mind of Benji. Fire is concrete, physically visible, and simple to understand. Within a world that is too complicated and abstract for Benji to grasp, fire sheds light upon his understanding. In addition to the use of fire, the word mirror is used multiple times within this section. The mirror represents Benji’s frame of reference. He cannot voluntarily interact to a certain degree in the world he lives in, yet the mirror is the concrete frame in which he can see. Both of these words and the repetition of these words emphasize the fact that Benji is often in the dark and cannot act within the world he lives in.

Similar to the Benji section, Quentin’s section is dispersed with the word “shadow”, which communicates the personal inner struggle that he is constantly fighting with. Quentin’s shadow is often mentioned and almost becomes a character of its own, detached from him. The troubled young man is constantly try to hide from his shadow, to run away from his shadow, to trick his shadow – he is trying to get away from himself. Quentin is not capable of accepting himself; coming to the conclusion that he cannot be perfect, and understanding that disorder will always exist. By not being able to live with his shadow, Quentin concludes he is not able to live with himself.

By understanding the meaning behind Faulkner’s words and use of words, The Sound and the Fury, becomes similar to a foreign language, which requires the reader to decode. While reading, the reader must think out-of-the-box, look for details, and attempt to understand the mind of Faulkner. Benji’s understanding of his world is difficult to grasp without the use of the word fire and Quentin’s personal struggle is emphasized through his personal struggle with his shadow. Without this analysis, these in-depth conclusions would never have been made. So after reading pages of The Sound and the Fury, and proudly stating you have understood all of the text; think again because there is so much more. (564)

The Words of "The Sound and the Fury"

Author(s): Robert A. Martin

Source: The Southern Literary Journal, Vol. 32, No. 1 (Fall, 1999), pp. 46-56

Published by: University of North Carolina Press

Stable URL: http://www.jstor.org/stable/20078252

To Love the Loveless

“Once a bitch always a bitch, what I say.” Jason is immediately portrayed as a negative bitter man filled with hatred and resentment for his life and those who surround him. In this section, it is apparent that Jason blames the cause of his unsatisfying existence on everyone but himself. He has an intense hatred for his sister, Caddy, because she stopped him from getting the job at Herbert’s bank. Yet it is important to note that Jason would not have even been graced with the opportunity for this job if it wasn’t for Caddy, but that small detail seems to slip his mind. Jason has an obvious lack of consideration for his family due to taking advantage of his mother and sneakily stealing money. Because Jason is in pain, he believes everyone must suffer as well. This is seen when he burns his tickets to the show in Luster’s face. If Jason can’t find happiness, then no one should. Yet despite his evil ways, his hurtful words, and despicable actions, his mother still deeply cares for him. Why does Mother care for Jason the way she does? Why does mother have so much love for Jason, a son that is seemingly absent of the capacity to love? (208)

You Had Me At St. Paul

St. Paul, Minnesota. I am hooked. After being born there, living there until I was five years old, and returning every summer has put this beautiful city in a special place in my heart. Therefore, when I realized that Land of the Living, written by Sam Shepard, was about a St. Paul family I immediately became intrigued. This short story is about a family from St. Paul, Minnesota taking a winter vacation in Cancun, Mexico. The piece of literature is simply written yet obtains depth deep within its lines. The family consists of a wife, husband, daughter, and son. The four embark on a journey through the unique and cultured land of Cancun, which is incredibly different compared to their freezing Minnesota climate. What initially drew me to this story was my deep connection with St. Paul, but the deeper meaning behind this basic written story kept me reading.

All people lie. All people cheat. All people feel sorrow and all people feel guilt. Within this story all of these emotions and actions are addressed. The husband and wife are battling issues of trust and honesty, values that every successful marriage is based on. While the parents accuse and abuse each other, the children are seemingly unaffected. What caught my attention about this story is that no real names are ever used. Mom is simply mom, no real name is attached to this character. This seemingly minute detail makes me wonder whether this purposeful lack of names provides another sense of association. As readers, we can see our actual moms saying these words and our real fathers repeating these phrases. Within the human lifespan, these family issues are felt by nearly everyone. Within my paper, I hope to address the commonality of the issues presented by the family and how each member reacts to them. By observing the types of feelings the family has towards one another, we can find deeper meaning within the interactions and emotions found in our own families.

The Heaviest Weightless Weight

The weight of their worlds was on their shoulders. They carried pocketknives, canteens, maps, radios, ammunition, ghosts, regret, guilt, pain, terror, love, and the weight of the their days. These soldiers in the Vietnam War carried more than what were merely on their backs. These war-torn soldiers carried the pain they felt, the weight of their gruesome memories, and the realization that they would never stop carrying. Not only did these men comprehend that they would always carry this weight, but they also knew that these weightless, numbing emotions were the only aspects of their being that made them human.

The content of the soldiers’ packs, what they chose to carry or leave behind, represented who the young men were as individuals. The constantly frightened Ted Lavender carried tranquilizers, the hygienic Dave Jensen kept dental floss, the heavy Henry Dobbins carried extra canned peaches, and the religious Kiowa kept the New Testament. These possessions were all that made them individuals in their own right. Without their packs, these soldiers would all be identical beings trying to survive the Vietnam War with their compress bandages, ponchos, and M-16 gas-operated assault rifles. Every one of these soldiers “was just a kid at war” (22). With nothing else but what they carried on their back to represent themselves, what constituted the weight on their shoulders constituted who they were.

In addition to the weight of their possessions, the soldiers felt the burden of carrying their emotions, memories, and experiences. Before his death, Lavender not only carried more than 20 pounds of ammunition, but also “the unweighed [sic] fear” (17). Ironically, the soldier most prepared to protect himself from death was the one to die. All of the soldiers shared the weight of their fellow soldier’s death. “They shared the weight of memory. They took up what others could no longer bear,” (39) which united them as soldiers, as men, and as humans. The pain of constant fear, the heavy experiences of enduring day after day in Vietnam, the desperate want to no longer feel their weight; these were emotions felt by all the men.

Like what they kept in their packs, many of their weighted emotions were unique to their experiences. Jimmy Cross, the First Lieutenant, carried love, rejection, regret, and guilt; quite a load for any young soldier to handle. His love and obsession of a woman back home named Martha occupies his thoughts constantly and distracts him from his duties at hand. The young Lieutenant “humped his love for Martha up the hills and through the swamps” (5) and regretted not kissing her, for never taking the risk to let her see how much she loved her. Although Cross does later regret having her in his mind because he feels as if he let her get in the way of saving Lavender. He felt guilt. “He felt same. He hated himself. He had loved Martha more than his men, and as a consequence Lavender was now dead” (42). In response to his emotion, Cross burns the pictures and letter from Martha in hopes of burning her from his memory. In a sad and depressing manner this young, naïve, optimistic boy grows older. He realizes Martha will never love him the way he loves her, he realizes that he is to blame for Lavender’s death, and he realizes no matter what material object he burns the weight of guilt and pain will constantly hang from his shoulders.

Cross lightens his load on his back but heavies the load on his heart. He vows to no longer think of Martha, his objective is to perform successfully as a soldier. Cross is now a Lieutenant who is strict, serious, and will not tolerate anything but exceptional performance from himself and his men. As if taking the remnants of the burned letters and pictures, Cross has formed a tough impenetrable exterior, in which guilt, regret, and sadness are hidden deep within his weighted heart. (659)

Worse than Animals?

Throughout the short story, Battle Royal, the white men, who are supposed to be the sophisticated gentlemen of society, are depicted as vulgar, disgusting humans that are no better than animals. These men, the men that represent values, morals, and justice within society are no better than simplistic animals of greed and lust. It is saddening to observe that men with such responsibility, respect, and honor act in such a negative manner. This irony is evidenced throughout the entire story as these men act in the exact opposite way they are supposed to act.

The white men act in multiple ways to represent animals. With their breath wreaking of alcohol the men chased a naked woman around the bar. They reached their “beefy fingers” out towards the woman in hopes of digging their paws into her soft flesh. With no consideration for the body of the woman or the woman herself, they perceive her purely as a physical attraction. Not even knowing her name, or caring to, these men pushed and shoved to ravage her like beasts. The want to physically devour the young woman shows just how animalistic the men are.

Not only do these men find pleasure in the physical beauty of the woman, but also through the physical pain of the black men. By blindfolding the innocent black men and forcing them to fight against one another, these men find an ultimate source of entertainment. The simple action of forcing these men to fight against one another shows how the white “gentlemen” act like animals themselves. They find pure joy in witnessing men fight against on another with no chance of victory or success. The white men are unable to find joy or substance in anything past physical limitations, which negatively impacts the minds and bodies of the black men subject to pain. Whether it was pushing these men into the electrified rug or forcing them to fight against each other, these men found pleasure within other’s pain.

Finally, the concluded evidence to the animalistic nature of the white gentlemen is their utter lack of respect and thought for the young man’s speech. The young intelligent black man, who is supposed to be animalistic by stereotypical standards, pours his heart and mind into his speech. He placed pride and passion behind his words that had no chance of being respected by the gentlemen. These could not look past the color of his skin to appreciate the content of his words. I believe this is the most important piece of evidence. The men not only choose to enjoy purely the physical, but they cannot even bring themselves to look past the physical. They are, in a sense, restricted to worlds of lust, materials, and superficiality. These worlds are their beloved boundaries that leave their purpose in life to oppression and skin-deep emotion.

The lusting of the woman, the pleasure of the black men’s physical pain, and the dismissal of the young man’s powerful speech all indicate characteristics of disgraceful human beings. These men, actual gentlemen in society, not only act like animals but demonstrate qualities worse than simplistic animals. The lack of compassion, thought, and pride in their lives is truly saddening.

More Than Meets The Eye

Is a smile more than a facial expression? Is a realization more than a state of heightened awareness? Is a kiss more than two lips touching? Throughout our lives, we are graced with monumental moments, moments that are utterly indescribable. To even attempt to explain these events in their entirety would do inevitable injustice to them. Ironically, these grand, significant, memorable events are often of the most simplistic nature. An honest and basic smile, realization, or kiss can inexplicably change our lives forever.

In Raymond Carver’s, Cathedral, the husband is not only able to connect with Robert, but also grow as a person. By drawing the cathedral with Robert he was able to break away from his narrow-minded view of blind people and see Robert for the man he truly was. He broke barriers, he grew up, and he stepped out of his own personal boundaries he had set for himself. This is why he felt like he was not inside of anything. He broke free. Yet you, or I, or any other reader will never fully know or understand how exactly drawing the cathedral changed his life. But how could we? Such a drastic life-changing moment cannot be understood by anyone except the person who has experienced it. An individual’s moment can really only be felt by the individual. And as one question is answered, another is asked. Why, within our world of commonly accepted inexplicable events, do we try to tirelessly compose explanations for our experiences?

Within this simply written yet emotion packed short story, Carver resists the temptation to even describe let alone state that the husband has gone through major personal growth. The author understood that an experience like this was much too powerful for words themselves. Instead, Carver guides us to the understanding that the husband is now a new man. He has shed his misconceptions, judgments, and negative attitude. By simply stating or attempting to describe what he had gone through, the author would degrade the entire experience because the description would come nowhere near the actual moment. Unlike Carver, I believe other writers attempt to write of these moments due to the need for the reader to associate with the material. In a desperate attempt for the reader to connect, the author sadly disconnects from the actual experience.

So as authors and readers, should we try to explain these events that impact our lives to such a great degree or instead label them as indescribable as they truly are? As we all know, there are moments in our lives, big and small, that shape us, transform us, and move us in ways we never imagined. The husband never thought that he would change as a person when his wife’s’ former employer/friend came for a visit. He had no idea that this encounter would change the way he perceived others and possibly how he perceived himself. This monumental change, this transformation, was all due to one simple drawing of a cathedral. And so, under this understanding a smile really is more than a facial expression. A realization is more than a state of heightened awareness. A kiss is more than two lips touching.

Can Unstable Parents Raise Stable Children?

Within this world of pressure, expectations, and a desperate need to succeed, parents and children alike attempt to cope with the difficulties of their lives on a daily basis. As teenagers try to complete their often-miserable days of high school, parents also need to assume responsibility for their home, work, lives, and most importantly their children. Therefore in this tumultuous existence of trying to overcome problems while simultaneously conquering all aspects of life, is possible for unstable parents to raise stable children? Is this an impossible task? And if so, are we now creating generations of unstable people due to the environments they were raised in?

As seen in Teenage Wasteland, the lack of stability within parents can often be the cause and effect of attempting to raise a stable child. Daisy, full of self-doubt and concern for how other perceived her, was unable to provide a stable environment for Donny. She had to resort to a tutor, Cal, to practically parent for her. This was not a horrible idea because Daisy did have her son’s best interests in mind, yet the fact is saddening that she was incapable of finding the much-needed success within her son. There is no doubt that Daisy gave her full effort to be the best parent for Donny. She tutored him; made sure he was did all of his homework, and set reasonable restrictions and rules that he had to strictly follow. Like any parent, stable or unstable, she put forth full effort in order to give Donny an environment of achievement. Despite valiant efforts, Daisy’s instability serves as a major negative to the possible success of her son.

Daisy is inevitably bound to find major challenges in correctly parenting Donny due to her own self doubts, fear, and lack of confidence. During a meeting with Donny’s principal, Mr. Lanham, Daisy was more focused on what he thought of her and her husband than the severity of the situation concerning Donny. Daisy truly believed that both her and her husband were seen as failures. Instead of giving her full attention to the important meeting at hand, she could not help but be focused the perception of her and her husband. Secondly, Daisy displays a complete lack of confidence when deciding what is best for Donny. She doubts her every move and is easily swayed by Cal’s persuasive speech. It is not until Donny is expelled from school that Daisy is able to make confident decisions herself. Just as Daisy is able to parent with forcefulness and purpose, it is too late for her son Donny.

The instability of Daisy was not the single factor to the problems and struggles with Donny, but they did contribute to the failure of his life. If Daisy was confident, brave, and attacked Donny’s with force then he might have been able to overcome his issues and achieve success as a positive young adult. Despite all of her meaningful efforts to help Donny succeed, Daisy was not able to due so in her current state. In order to help Donny, Daisy needed to help herself.

Book List

1. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. One of the first great books my Dad read to me and my sister. I loved it so much I had to read it again. Scout and Atticus are characters I will remember forever.

2. Choke by Chuck Palahniuk. It is one of the craziest, messed up, and addicting books I have ever read. This book made me look at my life and the world around me in an entirely new perspective which was an amazing experience the book gave to me. 

3. The Five People you met in heaven by Mitch Albom. Best read-by-the-beach book. It was a small simple read that impacted me much more than I had expected. A pre-teen could easily read the book and a elderly person could read the book; either way both will be sincerely touched.

4. Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald. The characters, the emotions, but most importantly the drama of the novel is unforgettable to me. 

5. The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follet. I lost interest in this book but my dad forced me to continue reading. I thank him for that because it became one of my favorite books. Practically reading a character's entire life was a unique experience because after finishing the book the characters could not feel more real.

6. Wish you Well by David Baldacci. One of the first books that made me cry... and then cry some more. My family had to remind me it was just a book and there was no need to cry so much.  

7. The Perks of being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. One of my favorite books and one of my sister's favorite books. We quote from the book constantly, especially the one quote, "I feel infinite." Within the context, the words were incredibly powerful and will remain in my mind forever. 

8. Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain. The first book I hated when I started to read it but feel in love with it when I finished it. 

9. Cold Mountain by Charles Frazier. My favorite historical novel. The personality and struggles of the character Ada were very relatable to me. Her struggle, her fight for love,  and her newly found strength within herself were incredibly admirable. 

10. The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien. Another book my Dad read to me and my sister. I fell in love with the story so I decided to read it again. I was so interesting by being able to enter another world yet feel so close to the characters. 

Summer Reading--Choke by Chuck Palahniuk

Books read since June: Wish You Well by David Baldacci, The Perks of being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky, The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom, Choke by Chuck Palahniuk, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon, and Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.

After reading Choke, I am faced with the question as to why a novel covering such graphically disturbing and unsettling topics, situations, and people can leave me feeling refreshed and exhilarated. The novel follows the life of Victor Mancini, a sex addict who fakes choking in public as a source of income. Victor uses this money to support his dying mother who is not only clinically insane, but also routinely stole him away from foster homes as a child. The scenes are scrambled as one moment Victor is making love to a fellow sex addict and the next he is with his friend Denny stealing boulders. Throughout all the sex, confusion, and chaos Victor is simply trying to find himself and find his place in the world. Despite his years of world experience and countless jabs of pain, the young man is merely looking for his true identity.

As Victor, embarks on his journey to identification he is constantly trying understand whether he is naturally a bad or good person. Victor chokes in restaurants not only for money, but also for that one person to feel like a hero. That one person will never forget that moment; the moment they saved another human being’s life. So is Victor scamming the Good Samaritan or doing deeds to benefit his fellow community members? He cannot decide which he is doing, but either way he continues to choke.

I think that Victor find himself when he finds his beliefs. The young man comes to the conclusion that anything concrete he creates is everything but concrete. It will ruin, diminish, and decompose. It is his ideas, his thoughts, his opinions, his statements; they can live forever. The abstract is concrete within the world and this notion is able to give Victor ease of mind. Also, the power of possibility has the ability to unlock the cage of an unknown identity for Victor. Through the observance of his friend Denny, Victor sees that it is not what you make, but the opportunity to have endless possibilities as to what you make. Denny take rocks, usually boulders, and decides to make a standing structure. He does not build with a plan, nor does he build with intent. Denny simply builds to build. Because the longer Denny continues to build, the longer he continues to create, and the more he creates then the more is possible. The possibilities as to what are unknown, as they should be. Denny builds a concrete object, but in the search for the abstract concept of possibility. The potential of building whatever Denny wants to is nothing but endless.

The concept of abstract ideas being truly complete and the notion of possibilities are often overlooked, if not unseen by the common human eye. These ideas and notions that lead Victor to who he is, brings me to unknown territory as well. With a new perspective is refreshing and leads my mind to different ideas and notions as to how I see the world and my place in it. Therefore, despite alarming scenarios and uncomfortable subjects, Choke is nothing but a breath of fresh air.